Here I am in all my hyperallergenic middle class vegetarian stereotypical glory.


1. What do you do when you are not on the computer?

eat vegetarian food, fuck a vegetarian, buy vegetables, that sort of thing.
And make music, but that's on a computer... so.... but I play trumpet... Into a computer.


2. Approximate the percentage of time you work and you play on a computer.

like all the freaking time. since i was 5. asthma (see hatred of cars below)
but mostly design or chatting to people back home, i am not a hardcore leet geek hacker or something.
i like any sport that's wet, but i don't live near a lake or sea, so i don't do much sport.
I DJ, with proper records, dnb, dubstep, triphop... no computer. Then i upload the mix into a computer.


3. If you had a time machine would you travel to an era in the past or future? Explain.

depends if you can guarantee my safety, if so, i would like to see the future. but not my own future.


4. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to undergarments?

1 to 20


5. Do you wear boxers or briefs?

i think you call them trunks.


6. Do you have a Mac, PC or Linux?

mac, but honestly it's only half as annoying as a pc.


7. Would you prefer death by firing squad or salmonella poisoning?

yo firing squad for real. what kind of idiot says anything else? i turned vegetarian after bad food poisoning so, no thanks, not again.


8. Do is you add sprinkles, gravy, nuts or a cherry on top?

gravy? on top of what?


9. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

yes.


10. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

none, i would have a cat if i wasn't allergic and i liked the smell of cat piss, i would call it tony blair. no, i would call it whatever my girl wants to call it (see previous question)


11. What is your favorite kind of taco?

those things that break when you bite them and spill meat all over you which (did i mention) i don't eat?


12. What is your favorite source for news?

videosift


13. What is your beer preference? Or other beverage (poison) of choice?

beeeeeer. anything english from a local brewery. Or Svyturys in Lithuania if i want lager, or a real lithuanian live beer, preferably dark. I feel old just typing this. I even like whisky now.


14. Have you ever been arrested?

No. Searched, but they didn't find it hahahahah.


15. Which is your Cheetos preference: Crunchy Cheese or Puffs?

Yikes. You eat that shit?


16. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

bangs wtf?
it's just off the collar, and a bit girly.


17. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

smooth skin: kiss.
scabby red itchy hairy prickly skin: no kiss.


18. List your five most cherished possessions.

any video or audio recording i ever made.
banksy print, powerbook, trumpet, erm... i haven't got much else.


19. What religion did you practice as a child?

anglican christianity, but i didn't get it.


20. What is your favorite childhood memory?

yikes.
can't choose a favourite. i get vivid flashbacks though, normally embarassment or mundanity.
probably best feeling was sailing, in the sun, in a one man boat.
what i didn't like was the time i fell off waterskiing and forgot to clench my buttocks and about 30 litres of water raped me.


21. What was your favorite childhood television show?

terrahawks (gerry anderson... i think i have a sift somewhere)
things that fly out of buildings into space are awwwwweeeeeesssssssommmmeee.

22. What is your most sacred personal rant?

people should fucking create their own shit, and the government should invest more in creativity and education, capitalism alone doesn't work for art.

also cars and outdoor advertising should be banned. especially outdoor advertising of cars.


23. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

it's thousands of miles away and the water's expensive?


24. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

choggie for insisting on creativity, literally with every word he writes.


25. How would your characterize SiftBot: slave, servant or secret overlord?

fiction


26. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

if the roast is fun i am willing to unmask myself a bit. maybe some music. but i post as MINK, not myself, so my face is not relevant to the roast.


27. What is your quest?

to make 100% of my money from creativity and to spread that around. sounds lofty, but so does the word "quest". I do hope that after i die, someone enjoys something I made, and they say "hey, that guy made cool shit, shame he's dead". That's all.


28. What is your favorite color?

red. aries. what can i do.

Let the record show that I resent the male meat eating american bias in these questions but i'm like cool with it, you know, you can't help being a freaking yank.

My opening speech: *stand up *clearthroat

I am not accustomed to the tradition of "roasting".
Where I come from, a "roast" is a tortured and sickly bird, stuffed with antibiotics throughout its miserable life, plucked, frozen, and then shoved in an oven.

I was relieved to hear that this is not the way a Sift Roast is carried out.

However, I am still confused, because dotdude explained to me that a roast is where friends gather round and poke fun at one of their company, and honestly, pretty much none of you are my friends. Not even on myspace.

Anyway I look forward to reading what the five people I kinda care about have to say about me, and I hope the rest of you enjoy converting your hippydippy passive aggression into honest unfiltered words, just this once. Get it all out. Gooood. There ya go.

I will be inspecting your queues, but if I downvote your whole collection, please be assured it is purely because all your videos are shit and I don't like them.

If I enjoy the roast I will be revealing a little more about my actual real self, and providing a musical finale of my own creation.

May the farce be with you!

edit: on monday.
edit: noobed up the place, sorry siftbot. now u can all take tha piss even more.

Post is already assigned to parody talk - ignoring all requests by MINK.

heh heh - DJ MINK and MC jonny - I like it. Too bad I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

The big question we will be answering is, how exactly do we roast a vegetarian?

I recommend olive oil and a very hot flame.

lots of garlic.

Maybe some Tabasco?

Paging the Good Eats (Cooking) Channel . . .

I'm excited about this. Let's give him a great roast!

Here we go Sifters. Forty-eight hours until "Roast IV" begins.

MINK might just answer some other questions if you ask him in this thread. Bribes of cheese might even help . . .

Don't be shy now . . . MINK won't bite - at least not yet!

*sticky

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

*sticky

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by dag.

damn its sticky in here-johnny asked me to offer something up, now I have to go back and read the shit......hang on--
well here's what is says..and I even said yes to it not knowing what the hell he meant..
"hey man - as dotdude said, the roast is this monday, at 8pm GMT (2pm for us). I thought I'd end my bit by introducing the first roaster, and you seemed the natural choice. You ok with that?"

Is this a time-zone type of question?? It's a trick, right?

Fair warning to all roasters:

If you fall on your face, I won't be there to pick you up. Instead, you can expect to be kicked in the head.

You mean we gotta stay focused? (cough, cough)

huh? what? you talkin' to me??

*unsticky

Please join MC jonny and the roasting crew for the official roast of MINK now in progress.

THE JESTER


http://parody.videosift.com/talk/Whats-That-Smell-Its-a-MINK-Roast

Unstickying this post from the top of Sift Talk - unsticky requested by dotdude.