Scientific Experiment: Slapping the Posterior in Slow Motion

It's science.
honkeytonk73says...

BAD SCIENCE. They need a naked butt control group to make sure the spandex shorts aren't inadvertently affecting the elasticity of the buttock upon impact. I think this experiment should be redone, and I am willing to sacrifice my valuable research time TO DO IT RIGHT!

kceaton1says...

>> ^arvana:

The half-life of the transverse waves propagated from that slap indicate a damping factor of: FIRM.


You said exactly what I was going to post! So, instead...

In this new video being created by our highly skilled graduates; the camera speed will be slightly slower at 1000 FPS @1920x1080 (or higher if intended for use with IMAX or a screen over two meters) with a secondary stream containing a duplicate, but separate feed set proportionately two-centimeters apart from the other feed. Then slightly zoomed out at around a 5.7% overall frame increase in size and a slight 2° shift from the vertical, counter-clockwise. Then combine the two feeds to one feed, except beforehand, polarize the frames (or frame frequencies) 90° from the other (relatively). Hand out polarized glasses--that of course have a film matched to the polarized frequency. Then increase the overall playback time, matching with the framerate speed, to give a new perceived 30 minute length (20 seconds is ridiculous).

Then some 1960's or 1970's music can be added in (the beat of the music must match the wave speed; some "human intercourse" period film pieces may have the required music) to further increase the relation of wave propagation seen in the video demonstration. This will help add to the overall immersion and enjoyment of the experience.

Then, we suggest the use of lubrication (Group 5, with a Viscosity of 800cSt is recommended) and then use some transformational waves (many options are available) at a decent amplitude and frequency. One traditional method used is caused by simple human mechanical kinetic manipulation (flexing muscle groups) in a rhythmic horizontal/vertical oppositional motion spread out over a chosen time span. Speed, duration, and intensity are decided by the user or a human/non-human counterpart. Typically, this will propagate a strand of flagellates into a D-glucose polysaccharide chains in a combined structure for simple discontinuation and cleanup; then quickly proceeding on to the web browser and watching the next "sift*".

If "flagellate" reaction is not noticed or possible for you, please follow the yellow strip on the floor. On your way out you may participate in our free clinical study looking for medical problems. You will need to put on a special garment for the study, and you will receive a complimentary lollipop! Do not be disturbed if this reaction is not noticed as it is a well known and documented myth created by the sub-species that is the focus of our demonstration video. Do not be disturbed if you think you look like as said sub-species.

Thank you for watching our dissertation on wave propagation.
We look forward to our next project on fluid dynamics!


*sift, definition below

sift (sift)
verb. sift·ed, sift·ing, sifts
v.tr.
1. To put (flour, for example) through a sieve or other straining device in order to separate the fine from the coarse particles.
2. To distinguish as if separating with a sieve: sifted the candidates for the job.
3. To apply by scattering with or as if with a sieve: sift sugar on a dessert.
4. To examine and sort carefully: sift the evidence.
v.intr.
1. To make use of a sieve.
2. To pass through or as if through a sieve: a meal that sifts easily.
3. To make a careful examination: sifted through back issues of the magazine.

sift (suhifft)
noun. sift·ed, sift·ing, sifts, spelunking
n.wtf.
1. A video on the website called "Videosift™"; sometimes amusing.
2. A video not on the website called "Videosift™", fought over in a mating like ritual to become a sift.

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